Understanding Your Wounding

The first step in this course is to stop having sex you don’t want to have.

This is a temporary step because, eventually, you will be able to have sex you don’t want to have every once in a while.

Right now, we want to eliminate the pressure to have sex, the guilt, and the frustration you have been feeling.

Reducing the pressure to have sex is meant to change the relational dynamics and negative associations with sex but also allow you the freedom and time to figure out what you want sexually.

As you proceed in this step, you want to take note of what you want.

Complete the following exercise and then share it with your partner.

Your partner will not be coming on to you or asking you for sex during this step of the process.

Think about what type of contact you want during this time. Is it ok for them to kiss you, touch you, hug you?

Where would it be ok for them to do so?

Also, remember that any connection can stop and start at any time. You can be touched and then be done with it at any time.

Talk to your partner about how it would be ok to tell them you don’t want to continue.